Divination by Aluminum
by Page of Cups
Summary: Cloud is bound and determined even if it kills him. Riku thinks he's an idiot and he's not the only one. T for language. CloudxRiku


**Title**: Divination by Aluminum  
**Author**: Page of Cups  
**Pairing**: Cloud Strife/Riku  
**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts  
**Rating**: T for cussing  
**Theme**: #03 Jolt!

**Disclaimer**: Kingdom Heart totally doesn't belong to poor little ole me. It belongs to a bunch of rich people at Disney and Square Enix. Being as poor as I am, I am not affiliated with the rich people at either of these companies. I'm not even qualified to clean their toilets. So there.

**Author's Note**: Special thanks goes out to Aly who took my year-long torment with "All I can think of when I hear Jolt! is that soda!" and made it into a story idea. You have my gratitude.

* * *

He paused for a moment, stilled in the doorway, unable to comprehend the scene before him. Against his will Sora cocked his head, eyes narrowed.

"Don't ask," said Leon, sitting in a chair in the living room and reading.

"You don't want to know," said Yuffie. She sat across Leon on the couch sharpening her shuriken.

"It's best to leave while you still can," Tifa called from the kitchen.

"Goddamnit!" said Cloud sitting in the middle of the living room floor as he threw a tab from a soda can into a growing pile, tossed the can from which it originated into an even larger pile, and pulled another from a tipped over recycling bin. Something like a growl escaped the back of his throat as he bent the tab on the new can back and forth. "A. B. C. D..."

"Give it up, Cloud," said Leon. He kept his eyes on the book in his hands and turned a page.

"Yeah," said Yuffie. "You're making a mess, and it doesn't mean anything, anyway. It's just a kid game."

"It's the principle of the matter," said Cloud. "It's me versus the soda and I'm going to win."

"And who ever said Cloud had no motivation?" said Tifa. "Look at him go. I've never seen anyone so determined."

No one laughed. Leon didn't even snicker. Sora cocked his head a little further.

"I don't get it," said Sora.

"Don't ask," said Leon.

"You don't want to know," said Yuffie.

"It was funny, but now it's starting to get ridiculous," said Tifa.

"I'm starting to regret buying those Jolts," said Leon.

"Jolts?" said Sora.

"The soda," said Yuffie.

"Fucking _again_!" said Cloud. He tossed the tab, the can, and grabbed another.

"Holy Shiva, how much soda did you _drink_?" said Leon.

"...E. F. G..."

"I still don't understand," said Sora.

"The soda is called Jolt!" said Tifa.

"No, that part I understood..."

"If I'd have known he was going to decorate the living room in them, I would have never bought them. I suppose that's what I get for being nice," said Leon.

"Son of a bitch!" said Cloud. He whipped the tab-less can at Leon. "Would you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate here!"

Leon rolled his eyes. He moved his book long enough to grab the soda can off his lap and drop it on the floor.

"I'm sorry, Cloud, but this is stupid. How hard can breaking off a soda tab really be?"

"Eat me," said Cloud. "...H. I. J..."

"Have you seen Riku?" said Tifa. "Dinner's almost ready."

Cloud's eyes briefly flicked up from his work. Sora looked at him for a moment and shrugged.

"He was sulking around the market last I saw him, but that was almost an hour ago," said Sora.

Cloud's tab broke off at 'S'. He cursed loudly, disposed of the can, and grabbed another. Tifa sighed.

"Is that right?" said Leon. "See, Cloud. He was sulking. Will you please stop with this stupid soda tab thing now?"

"No," said Cloud. "...K. L. M..."

"He said you two had a fight," said Sora.

"A stupid fight," said Yuffie.

"Leading to even more stupid behavior," said Leon.

Cloud reached 'Q' and yanked hard the other way on the tab. It bent two more times and then broke off.

"Dear Shiva, he's resorted to cheating."

"I don't understand!" said Cloud, throwing his hands in the air. "That was perfect! It was there! I had a strategy! It was all worked out!"

"How do you have a strategy for something like this?"

"I'm sure after working on something for forty-five minutes you can have a strategy for almost anything," said Tifa.

"What is he trying to do?" said Sora.

"Break off the soda tab on the letter R," said Yuffie.

Sora scrunched up his face.

"Why?"

"Because Riku starts with R, silly," said Tifa.

"Huh?"

Cloud took a moment to glare at each of them.

"...N. O. P. Q...Son of a bitch!"

Leon rolled his eyes again and turned a page. Cloud grabbed another soda can. He reached 'G' by the time the door opened and Riku walked in. Leon, Yuffie, and Tifa all glanced at him for a moment and returned to what they were doing. Cloud's gaze was a little longer. He appeared to be trying to hide the soda can catastrophe.

"Don't ask," said Leon.

"You don't want to know," said Yuffie.

"We've already entranced Sora," said Tifa. "It's best to leave while you still can."

"What the hell is going on?" said Riku.

"I'm still trying to figure that out," said Sora.

Leon lifted his eyes and lowered his book to his lap. Yuffie's shuriken lay forgotten beside her. Tifa peered over the counter.

"I just..." said Riku. "I mean...I know we had a fight, but..."

"I'm sorry," said Cloud.

"I've been so upset because you...and then...I don't know. I thought I'd come back and we'd talk it out or you'd still be mad or something, but..."

"Oh don't be mad at him," said Yuffie. "He was upset about your fight."

"Was upset...? I mean...What does this have to do with anything? What the hell is going on?"

"Yuffie tried to make him feel better with a Jolt! sugar high," said Tifa.

"And then Tifa mentioned some stupid kid game she used to play when she was little," said Leon.

"Yeah," said Yuffie. "You bend the soda tab back and forth with every letter. You know, one for A, and then back for B, and so on."

"Right," said Tifa. "And whatever letter it lands on is the first letter of the first name of the person you're going to marry."

"Girls play the stupidest games," Leon muttered, but Sora brightened and laughed.

"Oh!"

"Right," said Yuffie. "So of course he was so depressed he tried it."

"Only it didn't land on R," said Tifa.

"And then Leon the jerk goes, 'Guess you're not gonna marry Riku.'"

"Which made Cloud paranoid."

"Thus what you see before you." Yuffie made a grand gesture toward the piles of aluminum.

"And then we couldn't decide whose fault it was for starting this so we all had to stay with him until the insanity passed," said Leon.

"Or he landed on 'R.'"

"Whichever came first," said Tifa.

"And he still hasn't landed on it," said Sora, laughing.

"It isn't funny," said Cloud. He barely looked at Riku with shame and gave the soda tab between his fingers a weak bend.

Riku stared at him for a few moments and then burst into laughter. He staggered across the battlefield of recycling and dropped next to Cloud.

"What letter are you on?" said Riku.

The corner of Cloud's lips twitched.

"M."

Riku smiled, took the can from Cloud's hands, and gave it four bends. He handed it back.

"Q." Cloud laughed and tossed the can aside. "Oh, I see how it is. You don't want to marry me anymore."

"Yes, I do."

"You're such a moron sometimes," said Riku, dropping their foreheads together. He pressed a kiss against the corner of Cloud's mouth. "I know you're trying really hard but I don't put my stock in divination by aluminum."

"It was the principle of the matter."

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"Me, too."

"You do know I'm not cleaning that mess up, right?" said Leon.

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to beat him."

Riku smirked.

"How about I help you clean this up, we'll eat dinner, and then we'll pay him back later tonight?"

"And how are we going to pay him back?"

Riku bit his lip and grinned.

"Let's just say I can think of several ways to ensure he gets absolutely no sleep tonight, and being that the opening for the new college is tomorrow..."

Cloud snickered.

"You're evil."

"Well I think you deserve it after all you've been through."

"You think I'm an idiot, don't you?"

"Yes, but you're my idiot. And anyway, it is kind of cute."

"I don't see this room getting any cleaner," said Leon.

Riku pressed one more kiss to Cloud's lips and pulled away. They gathered together the cans strew about the ground. Once everything was picked up, Riku moved to pull the recycling bin outside again.

"Dinner's ready," said Tifa. "What do you want to drink?"

"I'm going to be bold and go for a soda," said Riku.

Leon groaned.

* * *

**_So this was kind of random, short, and unusual but I had fun with it so that's that._**

**_By the way: 20/30 Completed. I only have 10 to go! Whoop! Which is so much better than that 31 I have to go on 100 Steps. At least I started Chapter 70 right?_**

**_Ugh. This couple is going to kill me._**


End file.
